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10 Ways to Strenghten Your Image
by Diane DiResta
Glass ceiling or partners in sabotage? While the glass ceiling exists, very
often women undermine their success by how they communicate in the
workplace. We’ve learned to dress for success but have we learned the
language of success? When Catalyst, a non-profit organization dealing
with women’s issues asked” What holds women back from top management?”
Fifty-two per cent said “Male stereotyping and preconceptions of women.”
When they asked “How can women succeed? ”Sixty-one per cent said
“Developing a style with which male managers are comfortable.” It
seems communication style is vitally important.
Here are ten ways women weaken their image and what they can
do about it.
1. Too much head nodding-When women nod, they mean, “I hear you,
“I understand.” Men interpret head nodding as agreement with their ideas.
Too much head nodding will be perceived as weakness and may result in
miscommunication. Continual head bobbing creates a subliminal message
of submissiveness.
2. Uptalk-A rising inflection at the end of a sentence sounds tentative, as if
posing a question. This is a real credibility killer. Women will not be taken
seriously with this vocal pattern. To speak with authority practice bringing
the voice down at the end of a sentence. American intonation patterns use
a downward inflection to declare or demand and a rising inflection to
question or indicate uncertainty. This is not true for all cultures. In Canada,
India, Pakistan, France and China it is more commonplace to hear the voice
rise at the end of a sentence. This pattern is sometimes used by American
men in the South or by Generation X. It is not effective for either sex.
3. Weak Language
Tag lines-Some communicators make a statement
and then ask for validation.“This is a good idea, don’t you think?
“We have the best team, right?” Tag lines weaken conviction and
authority. Eliminate them.Modifiers-Words such as some, just, only
hopefully, and guess, minimize the message and the messenger.
“This is just a thought.” “I’m only a beginner,” “Hopefully, I’ve done a job,” “I guess I have a question,”are weak statements. They
signal a lack of confidence and tell the listener that it’s
not very important. Constant apologizing is not appropriate and
will have the same effect. Weed out wimpy words and replace them with
powerful language.
4. Allowing interruptions-Men jump in and say what they think.They tend
to interrupt more than women. Women are more likely to allow themselves
to be cut off and lose credit for their ideas. Instead, they can say, “I’m not
finished,” “ Please hold your questions,” “These interruptions break
everyone’s train of thought” or continue talking and finish your point.
5. Not speaking up (waiting to be called on)-Still waters may run deep but
in our business culture, people who don’t speak up are perceived as not
knowing anything. Commit to making one contribution at every meeting.
It may be as simple as underscoring a point or adding to what ‘s been said.
Some women wait to be called on or have difficulty taking the floor. It may
be necessary to interrupt to have your say. Do it. You must be heard to be
counted.
6. Clothing and appearance are visual shorthand. Women who wear
spiked heels, low cut blouses, heavy make-up, and micro-mini skirts
are communicating sexual availability rather than career mobility. To
succeed in the workplace, women must dress the part. You don’t have
to sacrifice femininity, but don’t appear too flashy. The goal is to look
professionally attractive. To achieve advancement, dress one level above
your present position. If you are a supervisor, dress, like a manager. On
the opposite end of the continuum, executive women may dress too frumpy.
At senior levels it’s no longer what you know but who you are as a leader.
If a woman executive doesn’t look the part, she’ll lose respect and credibility.
7. Too soft spoken-a soft or breathy voice may sound sexy but it indicates
insecurity or lack of confidence. Breathe from the diaphragm and project
the voice so that every person at the meeting can hear. If they have to strain
to listen, they will tune you out. A speaker loses conviction when ideas are
presented in a soft voice. Confident women project their voices.
8. Allowing others to take credit for ideas - a common complaint of women
is that men take credit for their ideas. When this happens women must learn to
speak up and claim their contributions. “Excuse me, I just said that a minute
ago.” “How is that different from what I just proposed?” Do not sit quietly
while someone intercepts your idea.
9. Weak Body posture- cute gestures such as shrugging shoulders, not
making direct eye contact, standing with one leg crossed at the ankle
and a weak handshake will weaken one’s visual impact. Men naturally
take up more space. Hold your ground. Stand tall and sit up straight, make
direct eye contact and ground your energy. Channel nervousness by using
hand gestures about the waist. Act like you belong. You have a right to be there.
10. Avoiding public speaking. This is one of the biggest mistakes women can
make in their careers. Men don’t have a glass ceiling. Public speaking is an
opportunity for visibility and equal exposure. Confront your fear, get some
coaching and get out there and shine.
Diane DiResta, President of New York based DiResta Communications, Inc. helps
executives to speak with authority and connect with passion to achieve business
results and with women who want to make it in a man’s world. She is the author
of Knockout Presentations: How to Deliver Your Message with Power, Punch,
and Pizzazz (Chandler House Press). and Conversations on Success (Insight Publishing)
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